corporationkills:

corporationkills:

i’m building a database.

maniakminis:

notactuallyherefor:

maniakminis:

quit your job

join my band of mercenaries

How’s the dental?

you can have all the teeth you can carry

skittynation:

you need to dedicate your life to things that are obscure and unimportant. and bad. and wholly uninteresting. and worth nothing of value. so you can drive everyone insane forever. and you can’t kill yourself. i ❤️ abysmal dogshit

spirulin4:

a quick “why is my life so bad” checklist

• how’s your sleep schedule
• have you eaten or drank anything besides sugar and caffeine
• how long have you been sitting in one spot
• have you gone out in public recently
• have you taken a shower/brushed your teeth/groomed yourself properly
• have you spent time doing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen
• etc

catmask:

awhile ago a coworker and i were play arguing whether or not the mystery gang were all romantically a thing/polycule or just really good friends (yknow bored at work things) and knowing my bfs interest in scooby doo i texted him asking him to be the tie breaker and he responded “well it depends which canon youre going off of” and just instantly cold sweat knew i was out of my depth

yamada-ryo:

yamada-ryo:

boss makes a dollar i make a dime, that’s why i write fanfic on company time that’s how the saying goes right?

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

english-history-trip:

cursedcharley:

tumblunni:

iamtypinglike98madmen:

jdillustratesnonsense:

hotcocoachia:

froginakettle:

guyalice:

unpretty:

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

I fucking love him

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

He also jabs racists in the eye!

I love the justice grandpa of fists

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

Everett Truth Coming Out Of His Well to Shame Mankind

A HERO <3

goldensunset:

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn’t need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

catasters:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

shower-thoughts-last-responder:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

zooophagous:

An underrated horse fact is that if you have horse that is both A. Not stupid and B. Likes you, it will actively try to prevent you from falling to your doom when you fuck up as a rider. Like actually make an effort not to drop you like a cell phone. I think horses deserve more credit for that.

My mum’s favourite horse was a total bitch who hated everyone and everything except for playing polocrosse (she was a polocrosse horse). When she was on the field she’d do everything to win, including keeping a stupid rider properly seated no matter how bad at staying on they were, but the instant she was off the field all bets were off. Her favourite tricks included:

• breathing in deep when being saddled for anything that wasn’t a polocrosse game, so that the saddle straps will be loose and the rider will fall on their arse. This is a favourite trick of bitch horses and most horse people will check for it so it tends to fail.
• biting people. Her name was Nipper, because she liked to bite people.
• Doing the breathing trick, waiting for you to correct her and tighten the saddle, and biting you when you were distracted by that
• stepping on your foot when you were leading her or standing with her. This wasn’t being clumsy. She would step on peoples’ feet on purpose.
• standing behind you with her head over your shoulder watching stuff, then deciding she wants to watch over your other shoulder. When a horse wants to do this, they just lift their head up over yours; easy. Nipper would lift her head up over yours, then dip her head down halfway through to hit you on the head with her jaw.
• chewing the fuck out of everything
• chasing dogs, other horses, and small children (not in a ‘let’s play together’ way, she found their fear amusing)
• enticing people to hand feed her and then biting the hand that feeds her

She was always very careful never to hurt anyone more than a bruise but boy did she love giving those bruises. If you were in real danger (such as being pressed between two horses and risking being trampled), she would use her own body to protect you. And then bite you. But she’d play these stupid games constantly and then as soon as she was on the field it was like 'me and my rider are best friends, we are a TEAM that will WIN THIS GAME’ and was totally trustworthy until the chukka was over. (Between chukkas, she was not trustworthy. I’d keep her warm between chukkas and she’d resent me because she wanted to be out on the field playing with the other horses, not doing something silly and pointless like 'take a few minutes at a slower pace so your stupid horse heart doesn’t explode’. Between chukkas was prime Step On Derin’s Feet time.)

I do not think I trust horses

They gotta amuse themselves somehow

I should point out that Nipper hated us for fun. She liked us inasmuch as she was capable of that emotion and wanted to go to events and play polocrosse (if a horse does not want to play polocrosse, you will know it). She behaved like this not out of a specific personal hatred, but because it entertained her to cause problems. This horse exuded High School Mean Girl energy.

cheaphalloweencostume:

cheaphalloweencostume:

cheaphalloweencostume:

cheaphalloweencostume:

this puppy currently being fostered by a rescue i follow makes me feel like. like. i don’t know. she’s a bug

her name is Primrose. jesus christ man

i cant fucking do this

team used napkin and mold spore

redacted-metallum:

Dealing with fruit flies makes me sympathetic to how the theory of spontaneous generation held on for as long as it did. Where the hell did you little shits come from. Get out of my fruit

animentality:

man the last bit of this takes me by surprise every single time i read it. you’re right though.